kingschultzies:

*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?

braydaaan:

literally me

nurgal:

                  ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The length of a girls hair does not dictate her sexuality 

                  ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

godnibblets:

I can’t begin to tell you how much I love the acting in gay porn.

happyds:

:ol

“My name is Lemony Snicket and it is my duty to tell you their tale. No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire, but just like that, the Baudelaire children became the Baudelaire orphans.”

annoyedteengirl:

nosdrinker:

that’s not a house buddy

let that boy dream god dammit

imjohnlocked:

John, you’re going to get stabbed by an umbrella one day

dampsandwich:

WHY CAN’T I FUCKING TELEPORT I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY

death-by-lulz:

moelesterationista:

Are we just going to ignore that she has her mom in her phone as birthgiver??????